made_to_order (made_to_order) wrote in michigan_ana,

Sorry guys, I feel like reaching out so bad. Sorry this is X-posted, I hate that shit.

Hey guys. It's me. I just feel so drained right now, i can't stop crying. I got out of inpatient awhile ago, and denied keeping my disease. I thought I was descreetly loosing weight but my stepmother just came in and she called my job (the only thing that means anything to me. I mean, I'm down for everything, but now I'm comtemplating suicide) and told them I need a few weeks off, and she's telling me basicly unless she thinks I'm recovered that I can't work or see my friends or have any right to be alive. I keep screaming. I. NEED. MY. JOB. She keeps telling me graduating high school doesn't even matter.
Legally, what can I do? Do you think there would be any circumstances where I can move out. If I moved out, I could afford rent and still attend school last year I managed 15 hour shifts, a more than fulkll time under the table job and full timne high school. I loved every minute of it.
So far I've denied the disorder, said I'm recovered. She tells me she knows I'm having trouble with drugs (They haven't., as in nobody has, caught me with drugs in a year) she says I'm lying, (I finally told my father what I think of him, that he's a bad father and he makes me feel like shit all of the time, and I told her she's a controlling manipulative workaholic and she needs to get off my back) because I finally told my family how I really feel. I just don't have the balls to actually get up and be like, "I REALLY THINK THAT."
My dad laughed when I told him he wasn't perfect, no scratch that. He scoffed.
I have to stop writing about this. I feel like binging the more I think about it. I'm just gonna turn on a movie and fall asleep.
But seriously guys. Here's the deal
1)I need my job
2)My BMI is 16.5
3)I don't have the balls to admit to my parents when I was younger I was lying, I'm finally admitting to how I really feel.
4)They have planned 39284904235 vacations where I would not be able to escape them.
5)They want me on medication
6)I have the means ($$ and a place and roommates that need me. Could love me) to move out, but not legally.

Any suggestions?
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